Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
