my vag is so smooth its legendary
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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