She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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