Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
