Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize