i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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