so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
sex in a hospital.. check
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
