You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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