fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
