I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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