Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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