Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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