He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
