Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
