Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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