i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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