im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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