Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
