I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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