i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
