Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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