Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
