Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
