If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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