Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
