i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm eating all of the evidence.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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