oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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