dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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