Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
