good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
