If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
