Betty ford says i'm here all night
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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