i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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