We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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