Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
