u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
