do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We have so much sex to catch up on
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
