Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
