My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
