getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
