How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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