That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
