matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
