I got chris browned last night
I think I died a long time ago.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
