Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
