her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
