I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
