Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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