that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
