I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
