I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
