He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
