she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
a search helicopter?!
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
