can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
