How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
we should paint friendship bongs
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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