therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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