It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize