Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
