I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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