they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Be still, my beating vagina.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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